The Shutdown Could End Tomorrow But Dealing With Trump is Like Negotiating With a Criminal [Corrected By a Crazy Random Editor]

Before taking office President Donald Trump shouted from the rafters about his ability to get deals done. He truly sold white America on his business acumen and ability to seal the deal. Now we all realize that his business methods are equivalent to a goon holding a debtors kids in a seedy basement until he gets his money. (Crazy random Editor’s note: Stephen Crockett, you and Colin Kaepernick should go have coffee after you go to the local unemployment office. There were a number of blacks that did vote for Trump.)

This is from CNN no less sir. My advice to you is to get off of your pity pot and do some research before you start throwing around racist comments. The road to the palace isn’t found on the pity pot sir.

From a therapeutic standpoint Mr. Crockett, you are angry. It comes thru in your writing. Trump is pro black. You seem to want to carry your persecution complex around with you and lash out in anger. Persecutory anxiety is a tricky thing. My advice to you is to really center yourself. Start meditating and doing yoga. I myself am a big sports fan and find that my interactions with blacks are better than those that are Caucasian. I view life as an athletic game. If you are black, white, Indian or Latino, show me your game. My advice to you is that before you summary judge; look within. See what the source of YOUR anger is. Process your anger appropriately. That does not mean ranting in your writings.)

With the tact of a rhinoceros in a bong shop, president Trump seems to have totally forgotten that he has complete control of Congress until January rolls around. He doesn’t need Democrats to push anything through, including funding for his dumb-ass wall that no one wants.

(Crazy random Editor’s note: I like the fact that you are using cliché (rhinoceros) however, it is revealing. There is such a thing as a rhino bong. Therefore, I wonder if you are writing these articles when you are detoxing from marijuana. Could that be another variant where your anger is coming from?)

There are enough Republican and Democratic votes in the House and Senate to pass a bill that funds the government without money for Trump’s anti-Mexican Night’s Watch border wall. (Crazy random Editor’s note: This is a long sentence sir. Furthermore, the reason the Government has shut down is that Mr. Schumer and Mrs. Pelosi et al are being obtuse and obstructionists. Because the sentence is so long, it is difficult to decipher. But, as we’ve learned over the past two years, when has Trump ever let the truth get in the way of stoking the flames of his gas fueled base. We should try to stay away from starting sentences with “but”. This is sophomoric and I don’t think you want to come off that way. Furthermore, the sentence itself is pure editorialization. It is your opinion. It is not based on any fact. Are you getting paid just to bandy your opinion all over the internet sir?)

Now, the president voted most likely to end the world (Crazy random Editor’s note: why are you so scared that the world will end? Is this a rational fear Stephen?) as we know it, is back on Twitter like a teen who learned that his date is going to senior prom with a boy without bone spurs, to claim that the shutdown is all the work of the evil democrats. (Crazy random Editor’s note: This is a run on sentence that might be better served on an 6^th grader’s poetry draft submission. Are you serious with this sir?)

We know that the above tweet was written by the president himself just by looking at his random use of capitalization and “gang members.” As we’ve learned over time, much like Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio, the president is convinced that all Mexicans are “bad hombres.” (Crazy random Editor’s note: What is the “above tweet”. Why do you have so much persecutory anxiety sir? You are a black man, writing about the President of the United States. You are writing in a manner that is not only with wanton disregard for authority but it is rife with bullshit. Where is the beef sir? What I mean by that is where are the facts. You are a journalist I think.)

It might be nice if someone inside the White House told the president that he doesn’t need Democrats to get funding for his wall. This assumes, of course, that said White House aides know how to get to the presidential tomb where the president’s sleeping coffin is kept. (Crazy random Editor’s note: The hits just keep on coming sir. Listen, I don’t agree with what Colin Kaepernick did to disrespect our country. Yet, I would never for a minute infer or wish that he die. Do you see what you are writing??? I am cc’ing ICE Media on this. Perhaps they can note your file.) All of this (Crazy random Editor’s note: All what? All of your rhetoric?) comes just days after the president claimed that furloughed workers told him directly that they’re fine with not getting paid.

Wait... Full stop.

The president is lying and I have proof. (Crazy random Editor’s note: You have already inferred death so why are you so worried about being accused of lying in your article? The article is just a series of sentences that are rhetoric anyway.)

No one in the history of ever has ever said that they are fine with not getting paid. Not ever. Trump is working for free sir. (Crazy random Editor’s note: People volunteer all the time. Therefore, not only is your statement totally egregious it is patently incorrect. Maybe one guy, one really racist rich guy who was handed an empire by his father is ok with not getting paid for working. See you have already disproven your own hypothesis in the next sentence. But no furloughed government worker is ok with working around the holidays and not receiving a paycheck. That’s just a full-on lie., one of the president’s ad-libs in which he just randomly spouts shit and acts as if it’s true. You are writing in eubonics sir. Again, please try to refrain from starting sentences with “but”. Have you had 6^th grade English? I am getting a 6^th grade feel from you sir, I have to be honest.)

Also, let’s examine the president’s declaration that many furloughed workers are Democrats, which is probably true and speaks to two issues. First, I know the president’s intentions was to shame Democrats as if their reluctance to sign a bill that awards the president $5 billion for his Lego wall is the reason that they aren’t getting paid, which we know is false. (Crazy random Editor’s note: How do you know? Are you clairvoyant sir? This article is preposterous. Note to The Root HR- pay me to write articles on President Trump. They won’t be fiction I can guarantee you that.)

Secondly, (Crazy random Editor’s note: when we use secondly there should be a “first” where is it?) the president has proven time and again that he is the president of rich white Republicans and as such, he doesn’t care that his gun-to-temple style of governing is affecting people he doesn’t want to govern. He’s not the president of the people he’s hurting so, in short, he doesn’t give a fuck. (Crazy random Editor’s note: Wow. How do you write something like this with expletives and get published and paid? Please explain that one to me sir.)

This is why the president has proudly proclaimed that the government shutdown can last until his eternal resting place freezes over because the people directly affected by it aren’t his voters. (Crazy random Editor’s note: All conjecture.) As it stands the government has been shut down for six days and Trump has declared that he’s not budging until his wall is fully funded.

According to NBC News, “Democrats have said they won’t provide Trump with that funding and indicated they won’t go beyond the $1.6 billion that has already been allocated for border wall purposes. Republicans and Democrats reached an agreement last week on a stopgap spending measure to prevent a shutdown — a deal that the White House signaled Trump would sign. But at the 11th hour, Trump scuttled the agreement because it did not provide additional funding for a border wall.” (Crazy random Editor’s note: Yes, exactly it should have provided such funding.)

Democrats are most likely going to blink first and give into the president’s demands, not because they are soft but because you can’t negotiate with a kidnapper who doesn’t care if all of his hostages die. (Crazy random Editor’s note: All conjecture.)

Maybe the president does know what he’s doing. Maybe there is an art to his negotiating tactics. Maybe holding America over a cliff with a gun its head is the way to get deals done. Maybe he’s saving the country from gang members, drugs and human trafficking. Perhaps there are people who want him on that wall. Maybe we need him on that wall. After all... (Crazy random Editor’s note: Maybe we need you to write 100 times “I will never write an incompetent article like this again”)

The White House is dark and full of terrors.

(Crazy random Editor’s note: After reading your manifesto sir, I can say with specificity, this is what I see in you and your writing.

You need a reality check. Joseph Pulitzer is rolling in his grave. Who are you? That is the question that you need to answer before you are ever, ever allowed to pick up a pen. In fact, I am going to order the code red on your ability to be published.

I want you to think about this real hard. Would you want a kid reading this? Do you think you are setting a good example? Not so much to the content but to the way you write? Do you think that kids going to school should use you as an example with your conversational ebonic tone? Is that journalism? I don’t think so sir.

That is why you need to go back to the drawing board. That is why I have cc’d the powers at Univision. This is a digital publication. As such, I have also cc’d the chairman of the FCC. Hopefully they will do the right thing and give you a “pink” slip. Are we clear? Just say “crystal”.

Goodnight sir. We need to make writing great again too!)